I would have fallen asleep, but the professor seemed to be yelling at each student who asked a question, even the students who were sitting on the floor in front. It wasn’t a mean sort of yelling, just yelling. But it was scary enough to not want to raise my hand. The review was packed. The aisles were filled before the professor even arrived and more students showed up every hour. Despite the yelling, this was a determined professor. He moved from one topic to the next without hesitation and it seemed like noting could interrupt his passion of stats ‘til the second coming. But something did.

I was just sitting there, taking notes and trying to understand the proper usage of the Control Limit Theorem when it happened. It started with a slight tickle in my nose, there was the pause to set down my pen, then the common long breath in as I prepped to brace myself.

I sneezed.

The professor automatically responded with the courtesy “Bless you,” but then looked away from the projector screen to see where the sound had come from. I was sitting in the second row and it was impossible to miss his dumbfounded look. Instead of picking up his place in the lecture, he asked, “Was that a sneeze?” I was too confused to answer verbally so I just nodded hoping that the attention towards me ended there. But he continued to use his booming voice that was needlessly amplified by a lapel microphone to ask if that seriously was a sneeze. Then he asked the other 300 people in the review session if they heard it and he went on to tell us that he was a “let it all go” sort of sneezer.

I don’t know if I was just embarrassed that a lecture hall had suddenly relocated its point of interest from sample sizes and means to my sneeze, or if I was just stressing about taking the exam. But either way, I didn’t hear much of what the professor said to me.

When the review ended my friends said they were proud to have been able to sit next to the “weird sneeze” girl and random students made comments as we left the building.

I didn’t fail the exam the next morning and I learned to never again sneeze in a review session. But it’s nice to know that my sneeze can put up a fight against statistics, one of the greatest inventions of the 17^th century.

Leftover Birthday Cake

The most overrated holiday: birthdays. I mean come on people! Why are we celebrating the first day we were naked to the world? It’s not like we even remember the day. We could think it was in the winter, but for all we know we could have a summer birthday. We are just living by something typed on our birth certificate, which is really just a piece of paper, and two people who “say” that they were there… our mother and father. Where is the proof that it was really THAT DAY that we were born on?

So I guess I just don’t really understand the fascination and all the count-downs to one day a year that is pretty much pointless. I mean, it wasn’t an accomplishment on our part. We really didn’t do anything. It makes more sense for the mother to celebrate being able to push a 6-pound human being out of her and still be alive to tell the story. For a kid to celebrate their birthday without their mother’s name on the cake could sort of be a slap in the face to their mother’s pain.

It’s just one day a year that it is socially acceptable to basically say “Hey! Look and me and thank me for something I didn’t do! Sing to me and give me presents and cake!”

East v. Chocolate

Buy a stranger a Coke. Well, it wasn’t so much a Coke as it was a piece of chocolate.

Today was Valentines Day and I gave this random boy a piece of chocolate. He was at the same NBA All-Star party that I was at and he was sitting in front of me. He was cute and friendly and I was feeling a little more outgoing than normal. I just handed him a piece of chocolate and told him it was amazing. That is about all that happened. No spark. No fireworks. No hearing of wedding bells in my head. No wondering what his last name would sound like attached to my first name. Not even a date or an asking of my number came from it. Just “Oh wow, this chocolate is good.” Then he promptly returned his attention to LeBron James and Dwight Howard.

Did I honestly think this assignment would lead me toward my temple marriage? No. But a girl can dream can’t she?

Day of Silence

I woke up this morning with no voice—Absolutely none. I have been sick for a few days and yesterday I pushed my voice to the limit. So I have been acting ridiculous all day long to try to communicate with people. It wouldn’t have been that bad if I was at home and it was a weekend with nothing to do, or even a weekday and I could have stayed home from class. But no. I was in a different state with a group of girls and traveling home that day. We also had to give a few vocal performances. Vocal performances are hard to do with no voice... So I had to lip sync my way through four songs, which was a really interesting experience. When we took out two hour car ride to the airport I fell asleep. When I woke up I forgot I have no voice, so when I tried to talk I ending up having a coughing attack. But it was really interesting to realize how much people know what you’re trying to say even if you can’t use your words. But it is SO frustrating when you want to say something but you can’t. I would be a little more hopeful if I thought I would have a voice or even a whisper tomorrow, but I know better.