forget-me-not

It is so strange to be home. Granted, I love, love, love being here, but it is still weird. I was making myself dinner last night and I kept opening the wrong drawer for pots and pans. I forgot how to work our remote control, I forgot how to use our home PC because I have a Mac at school, I forgot there was such a thing as water pressure for showers, but in between all of that forgetting, today I remembered who I am. BYU is so big. I’m from a little town with a little high school and a very small ward. It was hard not to stick out at church or in classes. But at BYU I just get lost in the sea of girls and I just let myself fade into the background. I sit quietly, I don’t do anything wrong, I don’t really talk to anyone, I’m just there. I was beginning to think that that is who I really am. But today at my home ward, I found myself all giggly and peppy again. I cannot even begin to tell you how refreshing it was to feel that again. What makes people act so different at college? I feel like most people go from shy to outgoing, but I took the opposite route. I even told one of my home friends that I’m pretty quiet at school and she was truly shocked. English is the only class I talk in, probably because it is such a small class and it's full of only freshman which seems more safe to me. So, I don’t know what’s going to happen when I leave here again and go back to school. Will I bring a little more of myself with me or just leave it all here in Lake Oswego?